Entry 4:

What the hell happened to me? I woke up lying in a pile of dirty laundry in the bathroom, with a half-eaten sock in my mouth. And I have a terrible feeling I know what happened to the other half.

I must've been out of it for months. No, what are they called? Days, that's right. Those were the days...

I think I'd better have some lucky charms to get the taste of footwear out of my mouth. There's one heck of a mess in the kitchen. Holy crap! Where did this bust of Elvis come from? It looks like it's made out of food. Cheese, olives, margarine, tuna, meatloaf... Hey, forget the lucky charms!


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