Where is that reply to the letter I wrote the m & m people? I'm making this `melt in your mouth' business my crusade. My life finally has purpose - I won't rest until these despicable fraudsters are brought to justice! Now where'd I put the mail, goddammit.

Hey, my first issue of Woman's World has arrived, with the free block of blue toilet stuff! Tonight's entertainment will be determining whether it really does last 2000 flushes. What the? My letter to m & m has been returned. Says - address unknown. Are these people dense? I printed it on here plain as day: "m & m, the place where they make m & m's, U.S.A." It's a conspiracy, I tell ya! The powers that be are in on the whole thing. Today it's melt in your mouth and not in your hand, tomorrow it's another lie like eating an entire packet of m & ms doesn't give you the runs. I think I'll get to work on this 2000 flushes thing.

-CG.